S.J. Shamus is creating videos that amaze our nation's finest cats
3
patrons
patreon money will give me the kind of internet-player lifestyle where I wake up disappointed at 7 am instead of 3 am. this is key.

i sometimes dream of simple salads with baby carrots, onions, chickpeas, and olive oil.

i will hold my head up high when i enter the supermarket and the security guard who doesn't like me stares at me. the more patrons i get, the longer i'll stare back.

thanks.






disclosure: i will use my winnings to live on a houseboat
Tiers
Pledge $0.01 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
1 cent\video -- i will personally contact you telepathically when my ISP is down (this tier only). i will also try to stop eating onions. patrons at this level are in the vanguard of the social proof movement.  you are my favorite patrons when i drink wine at religious events 
Pledge $0.10 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
10 cents\video -- due to a screwdriver accident while installing his first graphics card, s.j. shamus now depends on dimes for positive reinforcement

we are asking you to hesitate before throwing away the dimes you find when you clean your robots

he will also eat fewer of the expensive chickpeas that cause gas
Pledge $0.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
25 cents\video -- no more apricots. this is a special promotional price for close shamus associates. this deal could disappear at any time
Pledge $0.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
50 cents\video -- with a bigger number than the previous options, this appears to be a bargain because it's the last option below a dollar. scientists call this brain magic and you will pull the trigger. no way you're a scientist. no disrespect but no way
Pledge $1 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
you will receive 1 video per month of my legs dancing.  only my lower legs will be visible.  partners may include: fascinating objects, dolls, a plastic tarantula whose alliance with the cockroaches has disappointed me, the landlord's elderly pets, philosophy books stored in my car, and expired coupons that still motivate me. THIS TIER WILL NOT BECOME A CIRCUS
Pledge $1.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
I may do something here
Pledge $1.95 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
special tier for shamus childhood friends who accidentally sat on the clay colonial pipe he bought on a field trip to williamsburg in 3rd grade


if shamus were a sloppy thinker, he might think that this event foreshadowed future events, but he is not. such experiences may superficially resemble each other in tone, structure, cause or outcome but they are independent events

Pledge $2 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
$2!  Are you a lion?  Because you are not tame
Pledge $2.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
placeholder tier for the intellectual achievements shamus made in his dreams which he forgot when he woke up, filled with a very strong sense of scientific accomplishment. they will be mailed to you when he remembers them

Pledge $2.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
friendly heads up that shamus once went to a star trek convention by himself
Pledge $2.75 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
support shamus to spite a large variety of talented people. shamus himself donates at this level


"We're all ponies on a damaged farm.  Who denies it?."-Shamus confronting critics at a lacrosse pep rally

Pledge $2.95 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
"For artists, the things that are not said, say more than things that are said."  -Bernie Madoff
Pledge $3 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
NSA EMPLOYEES AND CONTRACTORS
Pledge $4 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
tier for bob
Pledge $5 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
conceptual art piece about my coca-bean necklace
Pledge $5.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
maya i'm not saying i know where your iphone is but why not subscribe
Pledge $6 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
tier for billionaires who want to keep a low profile
Pledge $6.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
this tier is for up-and-comers who want to mingle with billionaires
Title now required to edit misspellings
$7.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
shamus will switch off the script he wrote that makes robocalls to folks in retirement homes, asking for funds to prevent our grandchildren from dying on mars
Pledge $10 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
members of congress & staff must choose this option


Goals
69% complete
i can eat better kippers. organic sweet onions are still out of reach
1 of 1
patreon money will give me the kind of internet-player lifestyle where I wake up disappointed at 7 am instead of 3 am. this is key.

i sometimes dream of simple salads with baby carrots, onions, chickpeas, and olive oil.

i will hold my head up high when i enter the supermarket and the security guard who doesn't like me stares at me. the more patrons i get, the longer i'll stare back.

thanks.






disclosure: i will use my winnings to live on a houseboat

Recent posts by S.J. Shamus

Tiers
Pledge $0.01 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
1 cent\video -- i will personally contact you telepathically when my ISP is down (this tier only). i will also try to stop eating onions. patrons at this level are in the vanguard of the social proof movement.  you are my favorite patrons when i drink wine at religious events 
Pledge $0.10 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
10 cents\video -- due to a screwdriver accident while installing his first graphics card, s.j. shamus now depends on dimes for positive reinforcement

we are asking you to hesitate before throwing away the dimes you find when you clean your robots

he will also eat fewer of the expensive chickpeas that cause gas
Pledge $0.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
25 cents\video -- no more apricots. this is a special promotional price for close shamus associates. this deal could disappear at any time
Pledge $0.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
50 cents\video -- with a bigger number than the previous options, this appears to be a bargain because it's the last option below a dollar. scientists call this brain magic and you will pull the trigger. no way you're a scientist. no disrespect but no way
Pledge $1 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
you will receive 1 video per month of my legs dancing.  only my lower legs will be visible.  partners may include: fascinating objects, dolls, a plastic tarantula whose alliance with the cockroaches has disappointed me, the landlord's elderly pets, philosophy books stored in my car, and expired coupons that still motivate me. THIS TIER WILL NOT BECOME A CIRCUS
Pledge $1.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
I may do something here
Pledge $1.95 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
special tier for shamus childhood friends who accidentally sat on the clay colonial pipe he bought on a field trip to williamsburg in 3rd grade


if shamus were a sloppy thinker, he might think that this event foreshadowed future events, but he is not. such experiences may superficially resemble each other in tone, structure, cause or outcome but they are independent events

Pledge $2 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
$2!  Are you a lion?  Because you are not tame
Pledge $2.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
placeholder tier for the intellectual achievements shamus made in his dreams which he forgot when he woke up, filled with a very strong sense of scientific accomplishment. they will be mailed to you when he remembers them

Pledge $2.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
friendly heads up that shamus once went to a star trek convention by himself
Pledge $2.75 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
support shamus to spite a large variety of talented people. shamus himself donates at this level


"We're all ponies on a damaged farm.  Who denies it?."-Shamus confronting critics at a lacrosse pep rally

Pledge $2.95 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
"For artists, the things that are not said, say more than things that are said."  -Bernie Madoff
Pledge $3 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
NSA EMPLOYEES AND CONTRACTORS
Pledge $4 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
tier for bob
Pledge $5 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
conceptual art piece about my coca-bean necklace
Pledge $5.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
maya i'm not saying i know where your iphone is but why not subscribe
Pledge $6 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
tier for billionaires who want to keep a low profile
Pledge $6.25 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
this tier is for up-and-comers who want to mingle with billionaires
Title now required to edit misspellings
$7.50 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
shamus will switch off the script he wrote that makes robocalls to folks in retirement homes, asking for funds to prevent our grandchildren from dying on mars
Pledge $10 or more per video that isn't quite there yet
members of congress & staff must choose this option