Artemus Withers is creating Books
0
patrons
$0
per month
Curmudgeons need love too. In my quest to make a living from writing, I have sought to replicate the artists and patrons of old. When Socrates said “I drank what?” he had a patron. When Van Gogh said “Look, mate, you’re going to have to speak up,” he had a patron. When Medusa said “Do you think I need a shave?” she had a patron. When Jerry Lewis said “Is this telethon on?” he had a patron…probably a French one.

I’ve found I have a unique voice and an ability to write…a lot! However, the writing takes time. As of yet, I find I mostly have a lack of time in that I’m doing work other than writing. But writers need to write, like artists need to art! Um, you know what I mean. So, I’m harkening back to the renaissance, if you will. When those who had gave to those that arted…uh, wrote. Now, with the advent of crowd sourcing, you don’t need to have a lot to participate!

These are not idle donations, but donations with a purpose! Outlined below, to the right, up above…wherever it is they intend to stick the list, are the rewards and the work I’ll be doing which you will benefit from. You know, hopefully, about the Chronicles of Reztap. Did you know there is more beyond the books? With your faithful patronage, there will be a card game! If you know the Chronicles of Reztap, you know it will be a most outrageous game at that!

There’s more to explore and more changes to come. Will you be so kind, oh gracious patron, to set me on the path to writefulness? (Yes, I’m aware it’s not a word. I look forward to your comments, tweets, criticisms and candygrams.)
Tiers
The Bees Knees
$1.50 or more per month
You are, without a doubt, the Bees Knees. As such, I shall keep you apprised monthly on the progress of events in my growing compendium of work. This means you will also get some hints of things coming down the proverbial pike. You will also have my undying gratitude!
Ticklish Warthogs
$3 or more per month
 At double the Bees Knees, I figured you should have an appropriate nickname. If you think about, how odd would it be to encounter a ticklish warthog and how would you know he was ticklish? Perhaps that’s TMI. Forget I asked! I will be using your generous monthly contributions to fund the marketing of the Chronicles of Reztap. As such, in addition to the above, you’ll get a sneak peek at what will be going out – in the form of special pictures and what not. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Artful Badgers
$7.50 or more per month
Remember that card game I mentioned? Your donations will be funding the artwork of said card game! I realize my publisher could probably take care of this, but that would increase the production costs and it might never get done. As an Artful Badger, you’ll be aggressively pushing for this card game to see the light of day! As such, when each piece of artwork is completed, you’ll get a sneak peak. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Nifty Neanderthals
$12 or more per month
Not only will you get all of the fantastic benefits from above, but you will also get the benefit of seeing the short story (minimum 2,500 words) that accompanies each piece of artwork! That’s correct! For a mere piddling, nay a large cup of coffee and a crumpet, you will get a short story created every month and solely for your eyes! An eBook version, anyway. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Naughty Nynexes
$25 or more per month
You know you want it. You know you need it. Answers. Not just answers, but answers answered on video! I know, I know, I’ve overused the word answers. Bu think of all the fun, laughter and joy you will experience when an actual produced video of yours truly gives you the boundless wisdom to pressing questions on your mind! This will be a patron only video stream. 
Feathered Artificers
$48 or more per month only 50 left
It’s starting to get serious. How more serious can it get than a new series? Before it goes live, you’ll get an advanced copy of each of the Dythorean Gambit books (roughly 10k words) carefully handcrafted each month! Yes, eBook, but it will be well before any other eyes set…um…foot on it? Plus, of course, everything above. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Mark V Nannybots
$80 or more per month only 50 left
You really get it. Everything above, plus one signed print book. I’ll begin this with the Chronicles of Reztap, but continue it with the Dythorean Gambit books and then onto the next books in whatever series I’m writing. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Herod's Heroes
$125 or more per month only 25 left
You love me, you really love me! I will send Sally Fields to your house and she will give you a hug – NO I’M NOT! That’s ridiculous! I’ll be sending you the next best thing – a signed hardback copy of a Dythorean Gambit book. One each month until I stop writing them and then onto the next series. And all of the above, of course. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available, but I’m pretty sure there won’t be that many – I can keep track and not send you duplicates.) Let’s see, what else – oh! A personal critique of a chapter of your WIP (work in progress). Please note, this is not a professional edit, just trying to help a fellow writer out!
Bestest Friends
$250 or more per month only 12 left
Oh, it’s go time! You get everything above plus ME. Not all of me, of course, just an hour via Skype. We can talk about or discuss whatever you’d like. Call it US time! 
Egregious Echo Beast
$500 or more per month only 2 left
Everything above, plus the ability to digest…no, NAME a character in an upcoming book. Nothing profane, but given the type and size of the name, I’ll find a place for it in a book. You’ll get mentioned in the acknowledgements and I’ll be forever grateful! 
You Gotta Be Kidding Me!
$10,000 or more per month only 1 left
Seriously, if you’ve got this kind of money to throw around, I will write you a book (approximately 50,000 words unless you want less) on whatever subject you’d like. This is typically a ghostwriter kind of thing. People really do pay this for ghostwriters. They can rent me out for a book a month at this price. This will involve communication, discussion, research, draft review and editing (by someone other than me that I’ll pay for.) I’m not cheap, but I can be bought! 
Goals
$0 of $4,000 per month
When I reach $4000 per month, I'll start a special podcast where I interview 1 patron a month.
1 of 2
Curmudgeons need love too. In my quest to make a living from writing, I have sought to replicate the artists and patrons of old. When Socrates said “I drank what?” he had a patron. When Van Gogh said “Look, mate, you’re going to have to speak up,” he had a patron. When Medusa said “Do you think I need a shave?” she had a patron. When Jerry Lewis said “Is this telethon on?” he had a patron…probably a French one.

I’ve found I have a unique voice and an ability to write…a lot! However, the writing takes time. As of yet, I find I mostly have a lack of time in that I’m doing work other than writing. But writers need to write, like artists need to art! Um, you know what I mean. So, I’m harkening back to the renaissance, if you will. When those who had gave to those that arted…uh, wrote. Now, with the advent of crowd sourcing, you don’t need to have a lot to participate!

These are not idle donations, but donations with a purpose! Outlined below, to the right, up above…wherever it is they intend to stick the list, are the rewards and the work I’ll be doing which you will benefit from. You know, hopefully, about the Chronicles of Reztap. Did you know there is more beyond the books? With your faithful patronage, there will be a card game! If you know the Chronicles of Reztap, you know it will be a most outrageous game at that!

There’s more to explore and more changes to come. Will you be so kind, oh gracious patron, to set me on the path to writefulness? (Yes, I’m aware it’s not a word. I look forward to your comments, tweets, criticisms and candygrams.)

Recent posts by Artemus Withers

Tiers
The Bees Knees
$1.50 or more per month
You are, without a doubt, the Bees Knees. As such, I shall keep you apprised monthly on the progress of events in my growing compendium of work. This means you will also get some hints of things coming down the proverbial pike. You will also have my undying gratitude!
Ticklish Warthogs
$3 or more per month
 At double the Bees Knees, I figured you should have an appropriate nickname. If you think about, how odd would it be to encounter a ticklish warthog and how would you know he was ticklish? Perhaps that’s TMI. Forget I asked! I will be using your generous monthly contributions to fund the marketing of the Chronicles of Reztap. As such, in addition to the above, you’ll get a sneak peek at what will be going out – in the form of special pictures and what not. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Artful Badgers
$7.50 or more per month
Remember that card game I mentioned? Your donations will be funding the artwork of said card game! I realize my publisher could probably take care of this, but that would increase the production costs and it might never get done. As an Artful Badger, you’ll be aggressively pushing for this card game to see the light of day! As such, when each piece of artwork is completed, you’ll get a sneak peak. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Nifty Neanderthals
$12 or more per month
Not only will you get all of the fantastic benefits from above, but you will also get the benefit of seeing the short story (minimum 2,500 words) that accompanies each piece of artwork! That’s correct! For a mere piddling, nay a large cup of coffee and a crumpet, you will get a short story created every month and solely for your eyes! An eBook version, anyway. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Naughty Nynexes
$25 or more per month
You know you want it. You know you need it. Answers. Not just answers, but answers answered on video! I know, I know, I’ve overused the word answers. Bu think of all the fun, laughter and joy you will experience when an actual produced video of yours truly gives you the boundless wisdom to pressing questions on your mind! This will be a patron only video stream. 
Feathered Artificers
$48 or more per month only 50 left
It’s starting to get serious. How more serious can it get than a new series? Before it goes live, you’ll get an advanced copy of each of the Dythorean Gambit books (roughly 10k words) carefully handcrafted each month! Yes, eBook, but it will be well before any other eyes set…um…foot on it? Plus, of course, everything above. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Mark V Nannybots
$80 or more per month only 50 left
You really get it. Everything above, plus one signed print book. I’ll begin this with the Chronicles of Reztap, but continue it with the Dythorean Gambit books and then onto the next books in whatever series I’m writing. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available.) 
Herod's Heroes
$125 or more per month only 25 left
You love me, you really love me! I will send Sally Fields to your house and she will give you a hug – NO I’M NOT! That’s ridiculous! I’ll be sending you the next best thing – a signed hardback copy of a Dythorean Gambit book. One each month until I stop writing them and then onto the next series. And all of the above, of course. (Patron account has to be active at the time the reward becomes available, but I’m pretty sure there won’t be that many – I can keep track and not send you duplicates.) Let’s see, what else – oh! A personal critique of a chapter of your WIP (work in progress). Please note, this is not a professional edit, just trying to help a fellow writer out!
Bestest Friends
$250 or more per month only 12 left
Oh, it’s go time! You get everything above plus ME. Not all of me, of course, just an hour via Skype. We can talk about or discuss whatever you’d like. Call it US time! 
Egregious Echo Beast
$500 or more per month only 2 left
Everything above, plus the ability to digest…no, NAME a character in an upcoming book. Nothing profane, but given the type and size of the name, I’ll find a place for it in a book. You’ll get mentioned in the acknowledgements and I’ll be forever grateful! 
You Gotta Be Kidding Me!
$10,000 or more per month only 1 left
Seriously, if you’ve got this kind of money to throw around, I will write you a book (approximately 50,000 words unless you want less) on whatever subject you’d like. This is typically a ghostwriter kind of thing. People really do pay this for ghostwriters. They can rent me out for a book a month at this price. This will involve communication, discussion, research, draft review and editing (by someone other than me that I’ll pay for.) I’m not cheap, but I can be bought!