SN Désirée Chais creating Love Medicine + Healing Writing
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Welcome! As a type of elementary particle, you'll be a fundamental constituent of my (writing) matter. Thank you.
At this tier, you get:
- access to my Patreon activity feed (including occasional pictures of my dogs), and updates
Why are you so great? Thank you. Your community care helps me pay for gas to medical appointments, find time to write, and take a breath.
At this level of support, you get:
- an emailed PDF of unpublished fiction
- all benefits from previous tiers
I love salt water, oceans, the feral, cantilevers, and the impossible.
Through my words, I create space—space for the wallflowers, the unpopular ones, the intricately elegant, the quiet and observant library frequenters, the ones who draw on their vulnerability as power because being vulnerable is not a choice. Writing is sanctuary and we meet together, here, on the page. I'm so glad you found me.
My writing centers vulnerability and power. Through writing, I transmute the poison of grief into medicine. I write to disarm shame about foster care, orphanages, adoption, grief, poverty, homelessness, surviving abuse, being a rape survivor, and having no family. We who remember and are maligned for holding accountable those who have caused harm, we who are forgotten and considered expendable—we are not wrong.
One day I hope to have the time and resources to write the books waiting to be written, waiting in my body. There is so much to write.
According to a 2017 Atlantic article, "escaping poverty requires almost 20 years with nearly nothing going wrong."
Everything has gone wrong. And still I write.
I am building a hand-made life alone, without family. The journey has been hard. I write as an outlier, a queer femme woman, and someone who manages depression, complex PTSD, and chronic autoimmune illness. I am a survivor of intergenerational trauma, a first generation migrant, and a woman who walks in beauty.
I am vulnerable, and I am here. Your community care translates into my thriving and moving out of survival. I so want that.
If you value my writing, are moved by what you read, please consider supporting me and making it possible for me to write and thrive.
I am tangibly changed by your support. You make it possible.
Thank you, from all of me.
Life is so short. We must move very slowly.
While alive, I am documenting the journey through prose.
Most recently, Rest for Resistance, a project by QTPoc Mental Health, published my essay "Milk" (May 2019). On moments of belonging:
You can find my work at The Rumpus and The Toast's sister site, The Butter.
On meeting my Korean mother again:
On defining my own sense of what it means to be a woman:
Autostraddle published two of my pieces, too, including one about dogs and queer love, and another about the mammalian dive response. In 2016, The Nervous Breakdown published my poem, "Food Pantry". When I was 19, I submitted my first essay for publication to three transracially, internationally adopted people who created the anthology Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption. It was my first piece of published work in book form.
On queer dating:
On the limitations imposed by trauma and harm:
On hunger and visiting a food pantry:
Cannot drown or starve or die or be missed
Cannot be overlooked
Shields against the hunger
There is no
Shield against the hunger
An excerpt from "Garlic and Salt" in Outsiders Within:
"Honestly really good"
—The Editors, Autostraddle
"It’s such a rare joy when we get to publish a piece that tends toward the lyric and this is that rare joy, beautiful and challenging and expertly recreating how difficult this experience was while letting us have a truly incandescent reading experience."
—The Editors, Autostraddle