Squidge Rugby

is creating Rugby Videos
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Fantasy Folau Fan Fiction
$1
per creation
Are you hungry for some overarching Israel Folau slashfiction? A chance to finally read about the kind of thing I imagine Australia's homosexual superstar fullback gets up to? For just $1 per video, you'll receive bonus Folau fanfic, and possibly any other player you choose if this joke ever starts to get old. 
Bonus Videos
$3.50
per creation
Extra, bonus little videos. Top Five countdowns, fully-formed versions of the caption conversations from the main videos, bonus bits left on the cutting room floor, little self-contained joke videos. That kind of thing. Yours, for $3.50 donations and above.
A Very Low Level of Fame
$7
per creation
It's not much, but as an extra token to anyone who donated $7 and above (About a fiver), you'll get a little shout-out in the closing section of each video. I'll try and find something nice and/or interesting to say about you, too, so that it's more than just your name in lights. The more you donate, the more effort I'll put in to your little bit. Sounds like a fair trade to me.


You will also be able to vote in polls for which video should come next. Not every video, but every so often. It'll be little bonus bits, to say that I appreciate it. I may even email you some topless photos of Tommy Bowe to really show my thanks.

500

patrons

About Squidge Rugby

Growing up, I had but a small number of dreams. However, once I got over the reoccurring nightmare in which I lost my teddy bear whilst stark-naked in a department store, I was left with the same dream as every other little boy unfortunate enough to be born of Principality blood. I wanted to play international rugby for Wales. Two things stopped me achieving this. One was a coach who wouldn’t pick me, and insisted, no matter how I argued, that I was an out-and-out winger. However, with time, reflection, and one game at fly-half, I think everyone came to recognise we were all wrong. My best position, without a shadow of a doubt, was spectator.

The other factor preventing me from ever playing for Wales was that I was shit at rugby.

Earlier this year, I decided to put that skillset to use and embrace my true position. In January, I launched Squidge Rugby. My goal was to create the kind of rugby content I wanted to see myself. Things that were funny, but also insightful and well-informed. A sense of style, but still with substance. Content that is all the things Austin Healey isn’t. It’s not up to me to say whether or not I’ve succeeded, but I’ve very proud of all the content I’ve put out so far, and intend to continue producing well into the future.

However, making these videos is very time consuming. It now eats up most of my free time, and means for months I haven’t been able to do any of my other hobbies, like petting dogs, and typing Claudia Winkleman’s name into Google. My family have forgotten what I look like, and my friends have given up on me and gone to live in somebody else’s imagination instead.

I’ll give you some insight into the process of making a Squidge Rugby video. I start off by researching the topic. I read up on it, I watch matches back (Often multiple times), I work out how to crowbar in a mention of Alun Wyn Jones. Once I'm happy I know what I need, I spend a few days writing and rewriting the script; really polishing the thing so it’s as cohesive and funny as it can be. Then I have to actually edit the video. I spend somewhere around an hour and a half on every minute you see on-screen, on top of the time already put in. As you can imagine, this doesn’t leave much time for dog petting, never mind the dognapping involved to reach that point.

As I write this, I have not received a penny in exchange for any of this. I enjoy making them, and knowing that people enjoy watching them is its own reward. There are adverts on some of the videos, but all proceeds thus far have gone straight to the Six Nations board. This is fair enough. I’ve used clips they own, and they’re probably down a few quid since they lost the RBS sponsorship. Otherwise who is going to pay the crack team that investigated the Rabah Slimani incident and decided Friday night games in Cardiff are great idea? They haven’t requested the videos be taken down, or looked to cause any trouble, so I am not going to complain at all, not even in a snide, ironic way.

But this is why I very cheekily want ask for your help. I love doing this, and would love the opportunity to keep doing it, and to do it on a bigger scale. At the moment, I spend much of the week working an actual job, with linemanagers and timesheets and rations on printing. Your support would allow me to work less, to spend more time making videos, and hopefully squeeze in a couple of image searches of Claudia per week too. Long-term, it may even allow me to do this full-time and really increase the amount of content I can put out as a one-man team. Everything I have done so far has been on reasonably limited resources, so it would also allow me to improve the production quality and scope of what I’m doing. I have a few ideas for different types of content I’d love to dabble in going forwards, and your support could make it happen. But I won’t say what those ideas are, so that nobody is disappointed just in case they don't happen.

The minimum donation Patreon allows is $1 per ‘creation’, which, thanks to Brexit, is about 77p. If you feel my work is worth more, you’re welcome to donate as much or as little as you choose. My aim is to make a video every other week, though they often take longer than that, and you would be billed as and when the video goes live. If there’s no video for a while, yes it defeats the objective in you doing this, but it also means you’re not paying anything. I recognise most of you aren’t Mourad Boujerall, so the thought of a few people donating just seventy-seven spare pennies is delightful to me. However, if any of you are Boujerall, I am also available if you want to offer me a Toulon contract, just so long as you don’t plan on playing me exclusively on the wing.

In return, I’m going to offer a handful of bonus rewards. The main videos, the kind of thing I currently slave over will always be up on YouTube for everyone. However, I plan to additionally create some smaller, bonus videos. Think self-contained versions of the cutaways within in the current videos (‘Five theories on England’s attack’, the James Hook supercut, etc). Others won’t be missing out on content, but it’s just a little bonus every now and again to say thank you.

I also want to provide all Patreons with exclusive monthly extracts of Israel Folau slashfiction. I’ll even allow you the chance to request which players you want Izzy to lust over in the next chapter. Or to commission other ludicrous rugby fanfiction, I’m not married to Israel Folau. I’d love to be, but he voted against it. It's a silly little extra, but I found the thought of writing it funny, so it's going on offer. I plan to add more bonus rewards and incentives as we go forward, so this won’t be your lot if you do choose to support the channel. If there's something you, as a patron, want from the channel, or from me, I'm very happy to listen.

Regardless of whether or not you can afford to chuck a few pennies my way, I really do appreciate the support of every single person who has watched even one of my videos. Everyone who has taken the time to let me know they like what I’m doing. I appreciate all of you as beautiful, wonderful, unique, shining, golden, marvelous human beings, in a personal and very intimate way. There’s an automated message if you do choose to support the channel, but I just want you to know that I mean it. I really do. I’ll never run out to play at the Millennium Stadium, and that’s OK, because thanks to all of you, I’m getting a shot at working in the position I was born to play.

Thank you,
Robbie
(The Squidge Rugby Guy)

Recent posts by Squidge Rugby

By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 46 exclusive posts
2
Audio releases
3
Links
2
Polls
2
Updates
37
Videos
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 46 exclusive posts
2
Audio releases
3
Links
2
Polls
2
Updates
37
Videos