Squidge Rugby

is creating Rugby Videos

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Thank you! | Scripts
$1
per creation
Thank you! I hugely appreciate you supporting the channel, and to say so, I offer the script for every video I publish. Anyone who has ever wondered what I was garbling as I bash through words at pace like some kind of verbal Lomu can finally sleep sound!
Jigglebreath Sexquid Tier | The Extras
$3.50
per creation
Just as Jellyfish Sexrod wants everything from teammates and referees alike, you guys will get everything. All my bonus bits will be made available, permanently, for you guys. Any extras I make for the BBC, World Rugby, etc, will be published here, many exclusively outside certain territories, as well as some bonus scraps from when I overshoot on a video, such as a Scott Robertson dance-off.
The Wilkinson Tier | A Low Level of Fame
$7
per creation
It's not much, but as an extra token to anyone who donated $7 and above (About a fiver), you'll get a little shout-out in the closing section of each video. I'll also note, every time I get an email saying someone has joined this tier, I've made a habit of saying "Oh, thank you, [NAME]" out loud, no matter where I am. I have done this on public toilets.

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patrons

About

Growing up, I had but a small number of dreams. However, once I got over the reoccurring nightmare in which I lost my teddy bear whilst stark-naked in a department store, I was left with the same dream as every other little boy unfortunate enough to be born of Principality blood. I wanted to play international rugby for Wales. Two things stopped me achieving this. One was a coach who wouldn’t pick me, and insisted, no matter how I argued, that I was an out-and-out winger. However, with time, reflection, and one game at fly-half, I think everyone came to recognise we were all wrong. My best position, without a shadow of a doubt, was spectator.

The other factor preventing me from ever playing for Wales, was that I was shit at rugby.

A couple of years ago, I decided to embrace my true position. In January 2018, I launched Squidge Rugby. My goal was to create the kind of rugby content I wanted to see myself. Things that were funny, but also insightful and well-informed. A sense of style, but still with substance. Content that recognised the majesty of Uruguay's replacement tighthead and twattery of a certain former Australia fullback. It’s not up to me to say whether or not I’ve succeeded, but I’ve very proud of all the content I’ve put out so far, and intend to continue producing well into the future.

However, making these videos is very time consuming. Just before the 2019 Six Nations, I quit my 'real' job to focus on making videos, and let me tell you, it's not an exaggeration to call it full time. The amount of rugby I have to consume has frequently meant I haven’t been able to do any of my other hobbies, like petting dogs, and typing Claudia Winkleman’s name into Google. My family have forgotten what I look like, and my friends have given up on me and gone to live in somebody else’s imagination instead.

I’ll give you some insight into the process of making a Squidge Rugby video. I start off by researching the topic. I read up on it, I watch matches back (Often multiple times), I work out how to crowbar in a mention of Alun Wyn Jones. Once I'm happy I know what I need, I spend a few days writing and rewriting the script; really polishing the thing so it’s as cohesive and funny as it can be. Then I have to actually edit the video. I spend somewhere around an hour and a half on every minute you see on-screen, on top of the time already put in. As you can imagine, this doesn’t leave much time for dog petting, never mind the dognapping involved to reach that point.

But this is why I very cheekily want ask for your help. Despite the bags it demands under my eyes, I love doing this, and would love the opportunity to continue doing this. Squidge Rugby is a one-man team, and since handing in my last timesheet, Patreon has become my primary means of earning a living, and how it's been possible for me to continue running the channel in the manner I have. Your support has allowed me to focus on spending more time making videos, and even squeeze in a couple of image searches of Claudia per week too.

The minimum donation Patreon allows is $1 per ‘creation’, which, thanks to Brexit, is about 77p. If you feel my work is worth more, you’re welcome to donate as much or as little as you choose. I recognise most of you aren’t Mourad Boujerall, so the thought of a few people donating just seventy-seven spare pennies means a lot to me. As such, I would also never try to game the system or spam you during busy international periods, where I'm making multiple videos a week. However, if any of you are Boujerall, I am also available if you want to offer me a Toulon contract, just so long as you don’t plan on playing me exclusively on the wing.

In return, I’m going to offer a handful of bonus rewards. Everyone who supports the channel, no matter how much or how little, will gain access to the scripts I write for each video. There's a backlog of them now going back well over a year, many of them chunky volumes that help you tell whether I was trying to say 'fought' or 'thought'.

Likewise, I have been published videos I've made for other places, such as my work for BBC Wales' flagship rugby show, Scrum V, for Patreons, the only place to find them once that week's Scrum V leaves the iPlayer. I also plan to additionally create some smaller, bonus videos. Mostly small gag bits, little cutaways, tours of sex hotels I accidentally end up in in Japan, that kind of thing. Others won’t be missing out on content, but it’s just a little bonus every now and again to say thank you.

I plan to add more bonus rewards and incentives as we go forward, so this won’t be your lot if you do choose to support the channel. I recognise I've perhaps been somewhat lax about creating exclusive content in the past, but want to very much change this going forwards. If there's something you, as a patron, want from the channel, or from me, I'm very happy to listen.

Regardless of whether or not you can afford to chuck a few pennies my way, I really do appreciate the support of every single person who has watched even one of my videos. Everyone who has taken the time to let me know they like what I’m doing. I appreciate all of you as beautiful, wonderful, unique, shining, golden, marvelous human beings, in a personal and very intimate way. There’s an automated message if you do choose to support the channel, but I just want you to know that I mean it. I really do. I’ll never run out to play at the Millennium Stadium, and that’s OK, because thanks to all of you, I’m getting a shot at working in the position I was born to play.

Thank you,
Robbie
(The Squidge Rugby Guy)
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 66 exclusive posts
2
Audio releases
5
Links
3
Polls
2
Writings
54
Videos
By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 66 exclusive posts
2
Audio releases
5
Links
3
Polls
2
Writings
54
Videos

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