James Martindale

James Martindale

is creating clever excuses for doing nothing useful

0

patrons

$0

per month
I'm on Patreon because on October 25, 2016, I got bored after dinner and didn't have anything better to do. So I created a Patreon account to in hopes that someday I'd find justification for its existence. That day has not yet come.

People say that there's no such thing as a free lunch and that the only way to get money is through hard work. By supporting me you might prove how stupid that saying is. Or just how stupid you are.
Tiers
thicc
$1 or more per month only 9001 left

I'll send you a picture of Tic-Tac every month to let you know that your money is being put to good use.

thiccc
$5 or more per month only 666 left
Every month, on the evening of the 13th, I will turn off all the lights in the house, leave the faucet running, and whisper your name 3 times into the mirror.
thicccc
$10 or more per month only 420 left
You can ask me any question you want.
thiccccc
$50 or more per month only 117 left
You'll get answers to any question you ask.
thicccccc
$100 or more per month only 69 left
I'll tweet nice things about you every month.
Examples:
  • Doesn't smell like the underside of my bed
  • Looks more appealing than 10-year-old salami
  • Is pretty rich and generous so hit them up for free money
thiccccccc
$1,000 or more per month only 42 left
I'll send you a random computer part every month.
thicccccccc
$10,000 or more per month only 37 left
 I'll send you a random computer every month. 
Pledge $100,000 or more per month
only 13 left
I'll ask you for help on filing taxes.
Pledge $1,000,000 or more per month
I'll put you in my memoir.
Pledge $10,000,000 or more per month
I'll check your SoundCloud.
I'm on Patreon because on October 25, 2016, I got bored after dinner and didn't have anything better to do. So I created a Patreon account to in hopes that someday I'd find justification for its existence. That day has not yet come.

People say that there's no such thing as a free lunch and that the only way to get money is through hard work. By supporting me you might prove how stupid that saying is. Or just how stupid you are.

Recent posts by James Martindale

Tiers
thicc
$1 or more per month only 9001 left

I'll send you a picture of Tic-Tac every month to let you know that your money is being put to good use.

thiccc
$5 or more per month only 666 left
Every month, on the evening of the 13th, I will turn off all the lights in the house, leave the faucet running, and whisper your name 3 times into the mirror.
thicccc
$10 or more per month only 420 left
You can ask me any question you want.
thiccccc
$50 or more per month only 117 left
You'll get answers to any question you ask.
thicccccc
$100 or more per month only 69 left
I'll tweet nice things about you every month.
Examples:
  • Doesn't smell like the underside of my bed
  • Looks more appealing than 10-year-old salami
  • Is pretty rich and generous so hit them up for free money
thiccccccc
$1,000 or more per month only 42 left
I'll send you a random computer part every month.
thicccccccc
$10,000 or more per month only 37 left
 I'll send you a random computer every month. 
Pledge $100,000 or more per month
only 13 left
I'll ask you for help on filing taxes.
Pledge $1,000,000 or more per month
I'll put you in my memoir.
Pledge $10,000,000 or more per month
I'll check your SoundCloud.