Kim Bertrand

is creating Podcasts, Satire, Transgressive Literature
Select a membership level
Working Class
$1
per month

Access all episodes of the exclusive podcasts Butt Seriously and Callin' KB. Get the password to my exclusive shitposting group on FB. Your name read at the end of every podcast episode. My blesssing to be fruitful and numerous.

Upper Musk
$10
per month

Aforementioned and; initiation into a secret society, the opportunity to pull the levers of power.

13

patrons

$58

per month

About Kim Bertrand



WHO IS YOUR MOMMY AND WHAT DOES SHE DO?


I've been referred to as a "comedian", "writer", "apostate", "freak bitch", "Whataburger Rewards Member", and "user of unnecessary quotation marks".

I've also been called a neo-dadaist. As a pretentious person, I welcome this. As someone who threw away multiple careers to make jokes about drinking Elon Musk's cum, I'm a bit puzzled.

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH MY MONEY?


Drugs. But in-between those, I'll use the money to stage evermore elaborate shitposts. Getting paid will allow me to do this full-time, meet interesting people and visit exotic locales, all while churning out the childish ADHD nonsense you love.

Please give me money. I'm not good at anything else. And I'm barely good at this.

OBVIOUSLY, KIM, I AM HERE TO GIVE YOU MONEY. BUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?


Patreon is my new ground-zero for content. When you sign up for the Working Class tier, you'll get access to my exclusive shitposting group on Facebook. You'll also get bonus content, Patreon exclusives, behind-the-scenes stuff, and the ability to participate in podcast segments. I'll also read your name at the end of each month's podcast episode.

If you pick the Upper Musk tier, you'll get access to my Discord, where I'm reachable 24/7 (except during times I'm not available). Join me for simulwatch parties and other exclusive digital events. Pull the levers of power by helping me craft each new episode. Vote on themes, topics, and more.
Goals
$58 of $1,000 per month
I do this full-time, and purchase the following equipment to improve my output:

  • Microphones/Headsets
  • Camera
  • New Computer
  • Drawing Tablet
  • Food
  • Shelter
  • Medical Care
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