lonely carp

is creating a song journal

Select a membership level

opulent oocyte
per month
♥ be part of the koi-mmunity
♥ access to all of my song journal entries containing:
⚧ songs, heartfelt essays, poetry & brain vomits
⚧ detailed documentation of shows
⚧ professionally shot film & digital photographs (plus amateurish but made-with-love photos by me)
⚧ demos and initial scribbles
♥ collaboration welcome

☂ thank you for being here.
precious egg
per month
everything in the first tier, and:
♥ early releases of all songs to be released on spotify/bandcamp
♥ provide feedback and participate in patron-only discussions
♥ collaboration welcome 

☂ i love you and i am so grateful you believe in me

treasured larva
per month
♥ all the aforementioned stuff, plus:
♥ BTS content from development of the documentary
♥ concessions tickets to all shows (where possible)
♥ free download codes for secret, patron-only bandcamp releases

☂ sincerely thank you. 




per month


I am a transfemme pianist, composer, poet, scientist, and all-round creator of weird sadgirl things. 

I make mostly narrative-led music that explores the human condition, queer issues and themes of gender. I am an award-winning trans* activist and use music as a tool for my activism. I am featuring in an upcoming documentary about my life and experience in STEM and music as a trans* person being diagnosed with a chronic illness .

My lyrics are (I warn you, sometimes excruciatingly) vulnerable and honest. I see my work as a kind of music diary, each song with its own related, highly personal story and life experience to share.

I am a classically trained pianist now celebrating the 20th anniversary of my relationship with the piano (sadly my piano will never love me back because I am too aggressive a lover) but I make all kinds of art CONSTANTLY and I can't think of a better suited platform to pour out all the copious amounts of stuff I make, especially given the private nature of the content. The only way I can make something positive out of my life experience is to write about it in an honest and exposing way, so hopefully you might hear your Self in it, and be helped somehow.

We are in the midst of a loneliness pandemic.
But we don't have to be alone in our loneliness.
Genuine connection is the only antidote.
That's why I am starting this Patreon. To create a community that is a safe space for LGBTIQUA+ people and their allies to share their experience and grow together.

I am living with EDS and in the process of diagnosis of an autoimmune condition. creating is maintaining my strength. I considered leaving my PhD in genomics/virology because of the physical and mental strain I am under. But I am continuing. I have to be kinder to myself, and that involves keeping enough time for my creative projects. I've come to realise that expression is paramount to my survival. I truly have faith in my art and how it can help people, as making it has always helped me.

To say that making a living from my creations is 'my dream' is an absolute understatement. The trauma and obstacles I have faced in my life as a disabled trans* person have made me realise that this is it for me. Helping others, and my Self, through curiosity and creating. This is my spirit's truest face. 

I lovingly invite you to join me.

Supporting my Patreon doesn't just mean you are helping me realise my career, but that you are a collaborator in my work. I love to create projects based around human beings and their stories, and I hope to hear about your experience just as I want to tell you about mine, so together we can make some really important art. 

I love you. Thank you for being here.

$101 of $200 per month
This is my hourly fee as a session musician - and seeing as you are all contributing to pay me this per month, you deserve a monthly live performance. Once we achieve this goal I will livestream a 30-60 min set to your bedroom/living room/bathroom on a decided day each month (it may differ) so you can have a private performance in your pyjamas or pants or however you feel most safe.
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