Joseph Amir is creating music, poetry, short stories, and visual art
3

patrons

$8
per month
Welcome to the Home of the Original $3 Commission!  I will compose a poem, write a two minute song, compile an 8"x11" image, or tell a three-page story all about or a few thoughts away from the topic of your choice! I am your commission slave. Thank you for your attention and (mostly) your money!
Tiers
The First
$1 or more per month 1 patron
Give Me a Dollar. I'll send you a personalized thank you note.

via email or post.

Basic Input Output System: The Subscription
$3 or more per month 1 patron
Subscribe if you have a minute to read stories by a guy who spends hours writing them.
Original $3 Commission
$3 or more per month 0 patrons
All About or A Few Thoughts Away from a topic of your choice.

via email or post

Because I Like You
$5 or more per month 1 patron
You want me to do better? You want me to have better things? You want me to feed my family? Well, I can do one of those things if you give to your heart's content. The other stuff... meh. Not really an interest. It's sorta like starting your first temp shift at a small office space: you say you're prioritizing at first, but as the assignment goes on, you realize they just don't pay you enough to deal with anything you don't want to. That's how I feel about feeding my family. I've got, probably, a few more days before that actually becomes a problem, I don't know, I haven't opened the bunker since New Years. Do you think you could swing by and check on them for me? My youngest daughter has asthma and I think I left her inhaler on the stove back home. Is asthma medicine flammable? I know my wife is still alive, demons like her don't go down so easy. That why I stuck a tube of Mentos up her ass while she slept before dumping her in the bunker, hoping she'd either explode like one of them bottles of Cola since she's so fucking gassy or at least chill her the fuck out. The hate is probably keeping her warm. Anyway, fuck it, what's been up, man, how's your daughter? Did I leave the stove on?

I blame the internet.

Help Me Become a Real Boy
$50 or more per month 0 patrons
Every time the humans leave and we objects come to life, I lose control of my bowels. I've emptied my colon right here on the couch for the last time. Help me become a real boy by donating continuously.
Say Thank You
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
Don't be rude, you need to say thank you.

Don't be nice, I need you to fuck off.

Goals
3 of 5 patrons
I will bake you all a cake. I will make it the flavor and design of your choice or a few thoughts away
2 of 10
Welcome to the Home of the Original $3 Commission!  I will compose a poem, write a two minute song, compile an 8"x11" image, or tell a three-page story all about or a few thoughts away from the topic of your choice! I am your commission slave. Thank you for your attention and (mostly) your money!

Recent posts by Joseph Amir

Tiers
The First
$1 or more per month 1 patron
Give Me a Dollar. I'll send you a personalized thank you note.

via email or post.

Basic Input Output System: The Subscription
$3 or more per month 1 patron
Subscribe if you have a minute to read stories by a guy who spends hours writing them.
Original $3 Commission
$3 or more per month 0 patrons
All About or A Few Thoughts Away from a topic of your choice.

via email or post

Because I Like You
$5 or more per month 1 patron
You want me to do better? You want me to have better things? You want me to feed my family? Well, I can do one of those things if you give to your heart's content. The other stuff... meh. Not really an interest. It's sorta like starting your first temp shift at a small office space: you say you're prioritizing at first, but as the assignment goes on, you realize they just don't pay you enough to deal with anything you don't want to. That's how I feel about feeding my family. I've got, probably, a few more days before that actually becomes a problem, I don't know, I haven't opened the bunker since New Years. Do you think you could swing by and check on them for me? My youngest daughter has asthma and I think I left her inhaler on the stove back home. Is asthma medicine flammable? I know my wife is still alive, demons like her don't go down so easy. That why I stuck a tube of Mentos up her ass while she slept before dumping her in the bunker, hoping she'd either explode like one of them bottles of Cola since she's so fucking gassy or at least chill her the fuck out. The hate is probably keeping her warm. Anyway, fuck it, what's been up, man, how's your daughter? Did I leave the stove on?

I blame the internet.

Help Me Become a Real Boy
$50 or more per month 0 patrons
Every time the humans leave and we objects come to life, I lose control of my bowels. I've emptied my colon right here on the couch for the last time. Help me become a real boy by donating continuously.
Say Thank You
$100 or more per month 0 patrons
Don't be rude, you need to say thank you.

Don't be nice, I need you to fuck off.