Martina Fetzer

Martina Fetzer

is creating funny sci-fi and fantasy novels

0

patrons

$0

per month
Who I Am:

I write fast-paced, funny sci-fi and fantasy novels. You know the part of a sci-fi novel where you spend thirty pages reading about the logistics of plutonium mining on Mars or the socio-political implications of space communism? I don't do that. I do cyborgs trying to get Hamilton tickets.

All of my books have a One Laugh Guarantee™. If you read the entire thing and don't laugh once, I'll apologize.

Why I'm Here:

I'm currently on a schedule of publishing one book per year, in addition to holding a day job and attending conventions and book festivals. Your contribution makes all of that easier by helping to pay designers, editors, and convention fees. With enough support, I'll quit my day job and write more books. Everyone wins!
Tiers
Certified Paranormal Detective – Junior Level
$1 or more per month
And they said a dollar wasn't worth anything!


For your contribution, you'll receive access to weekly, Patreon-exclusive content. That includes sneak peeks, deleted scenes, witty or witty-adjacent commentary, and story-related doodles. 

The Lemon Special
$2 or more per month
Be the hipster you want to see in the world.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tier, PLUS a digital copy of each new novel before its release date. Brag. Tell your friends. Act smug. You've earned it.

Look at Me!
$5 or more per month
Do you crave attention as well as content? 


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS your name (or preferred alias) will appear on my website's thank you page. You'll also get access to monthly, super-secret audio/video posts.

Monochrome's Little Bedazzler
$10 or more per month
You're a superhero and a star!


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS a signed, paperback copy of each new novel shipped right to your doorstep.

A Sloshy Flop
$25 or more per month only 25 left
Do you like making poor decisions?


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS an in-universe short story featuring you. If you're 18 or older, it will be a dirty story featuring one of the least erotic sex scenes in history.

Trev Cracklin's Greatest Hit
$50 or more per month only 50 left
I don't know if you're popular with everyone, but you're popular with me.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS signed paperback copies of my entire back catalog and a limited-edition Bedazzlers art print.

The Buscemi
$100 or more per month only 1 left
You are the world's sexiest person.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS a one-of-a-kind, hand-drawn portrait of Steve Buscemi made with love by yours truly.

Goals
$0 of $100 per month
At this level, I'll be able to spend more on advertising. PR is everything.
1 of 3
Who I Am:

I write fast-paced, funny sci-fi and fantasy novels. You know the part of a sci-fi novel where you spend thirty pages reading about the logistics of plutonium mining on Mars or the socio-political implications of space communism? I don't do that. I do cyborgs trying to get Hamilton tickets.

All of my books have a One Laugh Guarantee™. If you read the entire thing and don't laugh once, I'll apologize.

Why I'm Here:

I'm currently on a schedule of publishing one book per year, in addition to holding a day job and attending conventions and book festivals. Your contribution makes all of that easier by helping to pay designers, editors, and convention fees. With enough support, I'll quit my day job and write more books. Everyone wins!

Recent posts by Martina Fetzer

Tiers
Certified Paranormal Detective – Junior Level
$1 or more per month
And they said a dollar wasn't worth anything!


For your contribution, you'll receive access to weekly, Patreon-exclusive content. That includes sneak peeks, deleted scenes, witty or witty-adjacent commentary, and story-related doodles. 

The Lemon Special
$2 or more per month
Be the hipster you want to see in the world.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tier, PLUS a digital copy of each new novel before its release date. Brag. Tell your friends. Act smug. You've earned it.

Look at Me!
$5 or more per month
Do you crave attention as well as content? 


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS your name (or preferred alias) will appear on my website's thank you page. You'll also get access to monthly, super-secret audio/video posts.

Monochrome's Little Bedazzler
$10 or more per month
You're a superhero and a star!


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS a signed, paperback copy of each new novel shipped right to your doorstep.

A Sloshy Flop
$25 or more per month only 25 left
Do you like making poor decisions?


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS an in-universe short story featuring you. If you're 18 or older, it will be a dirty story featuring one of the least erotic sex scenes in history.

Trev Cracklin's Greatest Hit
$50 or more per month only 50 left
I don't know if you're popular with everyone, but you're popular with me.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS signed paperback copies of my entire back catalog and a limited-edition Bedazzlers art print.

The Buscemi
$100 or more per month only 1 left
You are the world's sexiest person.


For your contribution, you'll receive everything in the above tiers, PLUS a one-of-a-kind, hand-drawn portrait of Steve Buscemi made with love by yours truly.