I set aside some time to write today and, well, nothing was happening. So I went to Twitter and Facebook and begged for ideas. And I wrote one! (And, Patrons, remember you're welcome to send me ideas any time.) It was easy to write because it was actually my second-favourite word in the whole world, kumquat. (My favourite is "cavalcade.") I have no idea if I'll ever record it, but it's better to have more material than less. So here it is: "Kumquats" (I'm singing it in an "Earth, Wind, and Fire" sort of style). KUMQUATS I’m about to give you some important knowledge Bout a little citrus fruit the size of an olive You can eat em on their own or garnish your drink Once I’m through with you all you’re gonna think is CHORUS Kumquats, kumquats Say it loud and say it lots Kumquats, kumquats Give it everything you got Kumquats, kumquats Have a bite and you will find Kumquats, kumquats Kumquats gonna blow your mind Kumquats come from a slow-growing tree It’s the little gem of the citrus family Full of vitamins anti-oxidants and fibre Man there’s no way you can be a denier of CHORUS If you want to eat one, first you gotta get one Then you gotta make a really big decision Are you gonna eat it whole, or are you gonna peel it? I say shove it in, if you really want to feel it! CHORUS BONUS CHORUS Kumquats, kumquats What the hell you waiting for Kumquats, kumquats Go and buy some at the store Kumquats, kumquats Go get some little orange eggs Kumquats, kumquats Or some kumquat marmalade!