The Flyoverland Crank

is creating a weekly column featuring the Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer

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Hoo-Boy... this is embarrassing. I didn't know anything about how Patreon normally works -- the reward thing, the community thing, etcetering -- before I got here. Anyways...

See, apparently I'm supposed to offer you "incentives" of some sort via a system of "tiers." More money = better incentive. 

Unlike a PBS Saturday evening begathon, I've no tchotchkes to offer in exchange for your support. No collections of some geezers hit (and otherwise) songs that you've been listening to for decades.

Just my writing.    


If you're a a bit of a crank like me, you might find my website,, a rewarding experience.

Except for a limited presence by Amazon, no advertising. No clickbait. No pop-ups. No coffee mugs for sale. Limited links and even less pretty pictures. My words stand (or fall) on their own. 

You can sign up to get my column (some philistines call them blog posts) by email every Sunday morning if you want but I won't sell your address. 

A pop-up will never appear out of the electronic ether suggesting that you do this or that, or begging you to WAIT! if it looks like you're leaving.   

Also, I've got about 150 easily accessed columns archived there, and I now publish under a creative commons license so you can re-publish my stuff anywhere you'd like. 

I publish a new column every Saturday evening at 7:11 (PM & ET). 

And as for social media... well, with the exception of the The Flyoverland Crank's Facebook page -- where I announce new columns on Sunday's and regularly post links to interesting things  -- I'm not very social, electronically speaking. I prefer to do my socializing in meatspace. 

You'll be spared the burden of notifications, emails, tweets, texts, podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagrams, etceteragrams, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. 

Granted, I'm biased, but I think I'm offering all sorts of rewards, particularly to my fellow cranks.   

For a buck a month you can support an aspiring writer. You'll be able to sleep soundly at night without feeling guilty about (hopefully) enjoying my work for free. 

If at some point I make you mad or you just don't think I'm worth a buck a month you can cancel at any time. (Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. ) 

Thanks if you donate. Thanks anyways if you don't. If you don't, please share my work to alleviate your no doubt debilitating guilt.

Oh, and if you do donate, you'll get access to a members only section on my Patreon page where I post the occasional random randomness. 






[Since the Patreon people recommend it, please pretend this space features a brief, sincere video starring a young actor, who's more attractive than I ever actually was back in the Black&White Ages, pretending to be me and making a clever and witty pitch.]

"Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard." -Daphne du Maurier. "I don't care what they say, I'll never use Just For Men." -me

Greetings fellow Earthlings. Thank you for at least considering supporting my semi-humble (were I truly humble I wouldn't have the temerity to ask for money...) scribbling.  

I've been cranking out weekly columns (some philistines call them blog posts) for almost 4 years now (since July of 2015). At first, as I honed my craft and cultivated my art (figured out what I wanted to say and how to say it), I was content to wait for my inevitable fame and fortune to arrive... 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Hmm, my inevitable fame and fortune seems to have been delayed. Maybe an eccentric, edgy but still (mostly) family-friendly weekly dose of The Wit & Wisdom of a Garrulous Geezer, via Enlightened Infotainment, ain't what the world's been waiting for? 

Enlightened Infotainment
: To quote myself (humor me, it's not as if anyone else is going around quoting me), "The current, apparently highly popular, practice of talking heads yelling at each other on TV, or at everyone else via the internet, is not enlightened discussion, it's lowest common denominator infotainment. This column strives to create a hybrid, Enlightened Infotainment."

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Hmm, still no sign of my inevitable fame and fortune. I hear a rumor that it was kidnapped while traveling by bus from NYC to Flyoverland at a rest-stop in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. 

This called for several minutes of intense marketing research... 

A friend tells me about Patreon. Patreon makes it possible for creative types (even ones like me) to fish for patrons. Just by adding a button to a website or a link to _______, artists and musicians (and even people like me) can ask their fans to contribute to the cause. 

I talk it over with Marie-Louise, my muse. She's dubious. Most writers don't make any money. Most writers will never quit their day job. Being semi-immortal (it's complicated) has made her quite cynical.  

No, listen! I told her. There are 7.5 billion souls on the planent Earth. If a relative handful of our regular readers think we're worth a buck or two a month I could make the car payment without having to sell my blood! 

Thanks if you donate. Thanks anyways if you don't. If you don't, please share my work with a potentially generous friend. 

Recent posts by The Flyoverland Crank

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