Rachel Escher

is creating Stories

0

patrons

$0

per month
Hello, loves! And welcome to my Patreon. A happy place where I'll show you my weird-o dreams and teach you how to cook! Oh, and I'll occasionally drop little nuggets of wisdom to help you make it through the month. We'll call them "Rachel Rants" because that's catchy and I can be somewhat narcissistic. Excellent! Let's move on, shall we? Go to the next paragraph and I'll tell you why I signed up for this thing...OOOOOORRRRRR skip it and I can explain something else that may or may not be important. Just do it, please! Thank you.

Okay. Let me level with you for a second. Do you mind? I didn't hear anyone protesting, so I'm going to go ahead and do it! Originally, the only reason I signed up for this was because I was butthurt over a complete and total misunderstanding with a friend. I know, I know. Bad Rachel! Thou shalt not be spiteful! Okay, that's not technically a Ten Commandment, but it probably should be something we teach our children. Anyhow, I got super hooked to book subscriptions and though "hey! Patreon might be a good way for that extra income to do that thing!" so set my goals accordingly. Well then I realized that paying bills might be something fun and happy to do so, TA-DA! Here I am hoping you beautiful people will find me interesting enough to love and support.

Now that you made it through my painful backstory, let's continue onward to victory to the part where I tell you EXACTLY what you'll be getting by sponsoring me. Basically, this will be like a blog. Yep, a blog. Every week I'll publish something. Typically, it'll be:
WEEK ONE--- SHORT STORY (DREAM)
WEEK TWO---     RECIPE (INCLUDING PICTURES AND SILLY JOKES)
WEEK THREE---     REAL LIFE STORY 
WEEK FOUR---           "NUGGET OF WISDOM" (SATIRE)
Some months may be a little different depending on what's going on in my life at the moment, but for the most part this is what it'll look like. Sound good? Yay! I was really hoping you'd like it! Full disclaimer- my recipes may give you diabetes, so maybe I'll give you a cringe worthy workout video lead by me to even it out. Also, my dreams/stories may be less than happy.

So REWARDS, which is everyone's favorite part. I'm pretty cheap. No matter how much you pledge to me you WILL get access to all my crazy "Happy Thoughts" and also a cat picture, and you can see the side bar for the other prizes. I don't think I'm all that and a bag of chips, so try not to pledge too much or I feel bad. BUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT if you do decide to give me all your monies, rest assured that it's going to a good cause.

Well, that's it! Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have an extra happy day.

Toodles!

-Rachel
Tiers
Bunny
$1 or more per month
Did you just join my team of patrons?! Yes, yes you did. I dub thee 'Bunny', which means you get access to all of my creations AND a picture of my cat. You're welcome! Oh, and thank you!
Kitty
$3 or more per month
Oh, how happy! You are now a "Kitty". As a kitty, you get to see all my stuff AND you get a picture of my cat AND a TRUE embarrassing story. See? We're establishing a friendship now.
Puppy
$5 or more per month
Hello, puppy! Guess what? You get the say! When I've got a question, you'll be one of the few that can answer through polls, plus all previous rewards. Who's a good boy? You're a good boy!
Elephant
$10 or more per month
Guess what! You're an elephant and elephants never forget. Not only will you get the neat-o stuff the other people get, BUT you'll get some books and movie recommendations AND get to ask me all kinds of questions.

Includes
  • Monthly Q&A
Unicorn
$20 or more per month
It's official, you're the coolest EVER! For that, you're now my unicorn and get whatever you want...LITERALLY! Including an exclusive video and Skype date! Hip-hip hooray!

Includes
  • Monthly Q&A
Goals
$0 of $30 per month
It would be super happy to make an extra $30 a month! Why, you may ask? Books, books, BOOKS! I've always wanted a good book subscription (mostly because I like surprises and also because I'm lazy). Help me get books, please?
1 of 4
Hello, loves! And welcome to my Patreon. A happy place where I'll show you my weird-o dreams and teach you how to cook! Oh, and I'll occasionally drop little nuggets of wisdom to help you make it through the month. We'll call them "Rachel Rants" because that's catchy and I can be somewhat narcissistic. Excellent! Let's move on, shall we? Go to the next paragraph and I'll tell you why I signed up for this thing...OOOOOORRRRRR skip it and I can explain something else that may or may not be important. Just do it, please! Thank you.

Okay. Let me level with you for a second. Do you mind? I didn't hear anyone protesting, so I'm going to go ahead and do it! Originally, the only reason I signed up for this was because I was butthurt over a complete and total misunderstanding with a friend. I know, I know. Bad Rachel! Thou shalt not be spiteful! Okay, that's not technically a Ten Commandment, but it probably should be something we teach our children. Anyhow, I got super hooked to book subscriptions and though "hey! Patreon might be a good way for that extra income to do that thing!" so set my goals accordingly. Well then I realized that paying bills might be something fun and happy to do so, TA-DA! Here I am hoping you beautiful people will find me interesting enough to love and support.

Now that you made it through my painful backstory, let's continue onward to victory to the part where I tell you EXACTLY what you'll be getting by sponsoring me. Basically, this will be like a blog. Yep, a blog. Every week I'll publish something. Typically, it'll be:
WEEK ONE--- SHORT STORY (DREAM)
WEEK TWO---     RECIPE (INCLUDING PICTURES AND SILLY JOKES)
WEEK THREE---     REAL LIFE STORY 
WEEK FOUR---           "NUGGET OF WISDOM" (SATIRE)
Some months may be a little different depending on what's going on in my life at the moment, but for the most part this is what it'll look like. Sound good? Yay! I was really hoping you'd like it! Full disclaimer- my recipes may give you diabetes, so maybe I'll give you a cringe worthy workout video lead by me to even it out. Also, my dreams/stories may be less than happy.

So REWARDS, which is everyone's favorite part. I'm pretty cheap. No matter how much you pledge to me you WILL get access to all my crazy "Happy Thoughts" and also a cat picture, and you can see the side bar for the other prizes. I don't think I'm all that and a bag of chips, so try not to pledge too much or I feel bad. BUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT if you do decide to give me all your monies, rest assured that it's going to a good cause.

Well, that's it! Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have an extra happy day.

Toodles!

-Rachel

Recent posts by Rachel Escher

Tiers
Bunny
$1 or more per month
Did you just join my team of patrons?! Yes, yes you did. I dub thee 'Bunny', which means you get access to all of my creations AND a picture of my cat. You're welcome! Oh, and thank you!
Kitty
$3 or more per month
Oh, how happy! You are now a "Kitty". As a kitty, you get to see all my stuff AND you get a picture of my cat AND a TRUE embarrassing story. See? We're establishing a friendship now.
Puppy
$5 or more per month
Hello, puppy! Guess what? You get the say! When I've got a question, you'll be one of the few that can answer through polls, plus all previous rewards. Who's a good boy? You're a good boy!
Elephant
$10 or more per month
Guess what! You're an elephant and elephants never forget. Not only will you get the neat-o stuff the other people get, BUT you'll get some books and movie recommendations AND get to ask me all kinds of questions.

Includes
  • Monthly Q&A
Unicorn
$20 or more per month
It's official, you're the coolest EVER! For that, you're now my unicorn and get whatever you want...LITERALLY! Including an exclusive video and Skype date! Hip-hip hooray!

Includes
  • Monthly Q&A