is creating the motivation to fight with everything i have got




per month


Hi Folks. Thank you so much for making your way to my Patreon page.

Back in 2009 I injured my spine at work, stupidly i put my job before my health and kept working as much as I could thinking I was proving i was a good employee or some stupid nonsense like that, within a year my back had affected how good of an employee I was enough so that my employer could dismiss me before I became legally disabled with equal employment rights where they couldn't.

By December 2010 I lost my job due to my mobility problems affecting my job attendance ability and quickly my life falls apart, everything I tried just seemed to make it worse and by 2012 I have ballooned up from 14 Stone (196 lbs) to 18.5 stone (259lbs), I used to cycle a 34 mile round trip to work and back at least 4 days a week and do all kinds of fitness related things in my free time beforehand.

By 2012 I eventually get an MRI scan on the NHS, this shows 2 herniated discs in my lumbar and I have also lost 5 cm (2 inches) in height when measured professionally during the assessment, at this point i am in pain even thinking about moving and even the simplest of everyday tasks are being avoided as they are not worth the pain they cause, after the MRI consultation the surgeon offers to operate on me by separating my floating rib and going in to remove a chunk from my spine and this was exactly what he said to me,

"We will cut out here and here (pointing on scan image in the general area of what i recognise as my spine) and then over the next 3 months during your recovery we will see how this has affected your original condition, I estimate a 50/50 chance we make it better or worse, it is your choice if you want to go ahead" as he handed me the consent form to sign absconding him of any blame if it is made worse

Obviously i said no, i wouldn't let you make me a sandwich if you told me that your success odds were 50/50, imagine the effect of 3 months mostly bed ridden when you already over 250 lbs and now 5 ft 9 inches short, idiots.

So from this point on I have tried and failed umpteen times to generate a full recovery using physical exercise, each spring with varying degrees of success I have tried all kinds of systems from various military callisthenics programs to the infamous 'Convict Conditioning'.

During the attempted 2016 spring recovery I blew out the ACL on my left knee stepping off a kerb, at this point I realised due to the degeneration of my body with the reduced movement over the years since the injury my body could no longer support my own weight, at this point i started total body physiotherapy, this was a lot of self enforced pain and I did not come out of that battle well by the time winter came, thankfully the 2017 attempt using total body physiotherapy using body weight exercises had better results but again another injury ground that to a halt, this time it was to my left shoulder through trying to use my walking cane too much.

Well then, winter just past and I really hit rock bottom mentally and I was again back up to 18 stone in weight (250+ lbs) and my mental health had slipped badly (i've been on several NHS waiting lists for help with that for years now but as I am not a threat to myself or anyone else there is no help, anyway that is a whole different story but i am working on it), funny thing about hitting rock bottom is you are often open to trying something new as to repeat what didn't work in the past and expect different results is just lunacy, at this point I turned to yoga instead of physiotherapy and my outdoor activities, main reason initially was yoga can literally be done anywhere in any weather as long as i can make a space big enough to lay my mat and make it warm enough to relax in.

It is during these outdoor activities over the last 8 years where i have made the content for my Youtube channel, every time I get a bit of mobility back I try and get out there as much as I can and remind myself what life is all about, i try my best to hide my disability during shooting and editing as I don't want my channel to be about that, but right now that is all that my life is about it's about my fight to get my life back properly.

I am making good progress so far and getting stronger every day, loosing weight too (22lbs in just over 5 weeks), smiling randomly for nothing here and there and things like that, that is why i am sharing the video with you all now as i know i am heading in the right direction and maybe my story can help others as i really did hit rock bottom and the video above was recorded as i was mid trying to pick up the pieces mentally and physically to start fighting again.

I was recording this video below as a way to remind myself how dark it got and how far i've come as a motivation tool farther down the line, this was recorded about a month back.

Come follow my journey for better or worse, at the point of me posting this video onto Youtube I am now in full belief that yoga is going to be the keys to door that frees me from this spine injury once and for all, there is no going back, defeat is not an option and the reward for victory is my life back.

The only support I am looking for is emotional and spiritual so if you've got plenty of that type of true wealth you're welcome on board
$14 of $100 per month
My goal is to get my life back, the only support i need is emotional and spiritual, so if you got plenty of that type of true wealth then welcome on board
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